she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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