Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
