my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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