Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
high people should be assigned attendants
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
