Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
