I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My ATM looks so different sober.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
