dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
