summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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