I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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