he wants to bone in the snuggie
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
