I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
