I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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