When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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