Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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