So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
