Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
