Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
