yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
