Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize