my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
