What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
