I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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