Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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