so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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