At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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