i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
