im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
