do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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