I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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