okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
