sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
