Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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