No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's blow job season.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
