i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dignity is for republicans.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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