Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
