you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
