It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
