My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
