just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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