i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do vagina's smell?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
