Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
