It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
ttyl tear gas
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
