Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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