"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
