I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
