Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
