I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
