Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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