He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
