I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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