I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Jerry, you need to find god
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
