no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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