spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
