it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
