Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
